


Turn Back the Hands of Time

by Sigmundfeud1314



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Eventual Happy Ending, Five Stages of Grief, Healing, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Mentions of Character Death, Protect Tweek he didn't deserve it, graphic rape/non con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:21:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24304342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sigmundfeud1314/pseuds/Sigmundfeud1314
Summary: "Stop. Stop. Stop! Everybody just fucking stop!""Tweek-""No! Let me out!""Tweek calm down please youre-""Shut up! Craig just shut the fuck up! I'm hurting too god damnit. I want to breathe too!"Tweek just wants out. He just wants to keep from drowning. But will he? Can he?
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Kenny McCormick/Tweek Tweak
Comments: 22
Kudos: 90





	1. Bring it Back to Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Another fic here! I know i still have two more I need to work on, but I'm stuck on how I want the stories to continue, so here is a little something to post in the meantime. 
> 
> Warning this fic is very graphic. I will put trigger warnings in the beginning of each chapter so you will know to skip it if you want to read it. I do want to mention that this fic talks about losing a child. Please do not read if this is a trigger for you! 
> 
> I hope you all will enjoy it. The first chapter is short because it is more of just an opener. The second chapter will be much longer. Sorry in advance.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm a broken man; help me breathe  
> Cause I've lost my heart, so bring it back to me  
> Oh, I'm feeling lost in my dreams  
> Oh, I've lost my heart, so bring it back to me

Understand the value of one minute.

A lot can happen in one minute 

You take 12-24 breaths in one minute.

Your heart beats 60-100 times in one minute.

You can gain a life in one minute.

You can also lose a life in one minute.

One minute. That’s all it took. One. Fucking.Minute.

It happened way too fast. So fast that, ironically, time seemed to slow down. One minute he was using the restroom. The next he was saying his goodbyes.

Isn’t it funny how time works? When we want time to slow down, it speeds up but when we want it to go by fast, it actually goes by slow.

Huh.

The bright yellow room that he currently sits in holds memories that he wishes he could get back. Memories, that over time, will fade. Memories, that despite being wanted, also come as an unwelcome guest. 

His baby.

Gone.

Regret. Regret. Regret.

That’s all he feels. Pure unaltered hatred for himself. But he isn’t the only one feeling this way. Craig hates him too. His therapist said that Craig doesn’t really hate him. That it’s all in his head. But she doesn’t. She can’t know. Craig told him he does.

Says it’s his fault. Wishes that it was Tweek buried 6 feet under instead. Calls him irresponsible. Says he’s unfit to be a parent.

Tweek agrees. 

He knew he was unfit to be a parent. Too many fuck ups growing up proved that. But just for once he thought this was something that he could handle. He loved their daughter. He wanted to do right by her. But he failed. He always fails. Time after time after time. This time it, he’s in it alone.

\-----------------------------

They don’t sleep together anymore. Craig spends his nights after work at the bar. He comes home after 3 am, not even caring that Tweek was worried about him. That he was up waiting for him. He knows not to ask anymore. Craig said he doesn’t deserve to know. But Tweek knows where he has been. The evidence is written all over him. He smells like cheap perfume. A large hickey left uncaringly on his neck for the whole world to see. At least for Tweek to see. He doesn’t bother to hide it. The sad thing is, Tweek won’t stop it. He won’t confront him about it. It was his fault after all.

They haven’t had sex since the incident. It’s been five months now. Craig would rather sleep in the guest bedroom, than be anywhere near Tweek. In fact, they hadn’t touched each other since the waiting room. And that was because Craig pushed him to the floor after the doctor said their daughter was brain dead. The pure look of hatred and disgust was evident on his face. Clear as day. It made Tweek scared. 

He doesn’t blame him.

He just needed to use the restroom. He took his eyes off of her for one minute to empty his bladder. The dumbest shit he has ever done. If only he had heard the door being opened. If only he had heard the little tiny feet taking off in the direction of outside.

His baby.

Before he could even bolt out the door. Before he could even shout her name to stop. Please stop. The car came. It came out like a bullet. But Tweek froze. Watching the scene from the otherside. Like an innocent bystander. Technically he was one. He just wasn’t so innocent. If only he could reverse time. Make it stop for five minutes then he would realize, it wasn’t his fault. But time just wasn’t on his side.


	2. Never Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the shine of a thousand spotlights  
> All the stars we steal from the nightsky  
> Will never be enough  
> Never be enough  
> Towers of gold are still too little  
> These hands could hold the world but it'll  
> Never be enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any spelling or grammar errors, I didn't edit this chapter.

Craig no longer goes out to the bars anymore and stays out all night. Which means no more late night cheating. At least that’s what Tweek likes to believe. In fact it’s gotten worse. 

Tweek arrived home after a long shift the other day. Something in his gut told him to leave and never come back. That whatever was behind that door, he would regret seeing.  _ It’s just nerves from not speaking to Craig for so long.  _ That’s what he tried to tell himself. But he knew deep down that something sinister lies behind the door. 

Tweek slowly made his way up the porch, but before pushing in his key he stops to calm his racing heart and mind.  _ Everything is fine, well as fine as things have been.  _ Then proceeds to open the door. The sight that greeted him made his blood run cold.

Craig. Craig pounding away in some skimpy red head woman. Woman. As in female. As in the opposite gender. Tweek couldn’t look away. His heart shattering into a million pieces. His fingers and toes have gone numb. Numb. That’s all Tweek felt. He didn’t expect Craig to think so little of him that he would bring his affairs to the house.  _ Do I mean that little to him now? _ Call Tweek a coward if you will, but he couldn’t do anything. Not scream. Not shout. Not even throw anything. So what did he do? Tweek quietly left his house. HIS house. As to not disturb them. Craig never looked up. Not like he’d notice anyway. Well maybe he did notice and just didn’t care. It wouldn’t come as a surprise to Tweek anyway.

Tweek had no destination in mind when he left the house. He just went wherever his feet would carry him. Surprisingly enough his feet carried him to Starks Pond. As soon as he came face to face with the water, Tweek’s legs turned into jello and he collapsed on the ground with a heartbreaking sob.

“WHY?! WHAT THE HELL HAVE I DONE TO YOU?!” Tweek screamed at the sky, tears falling as heavy as rain on his face. He screamed and screamed and screamed, rocking back and forth on his knees. Trying to find someway to relieve this ache in chest. 

“FUCK YOU! WHOEVER THE HELL IS UP THERE THAT LET THIS HAPPEN! FUCK! YOU!’ He sobbed.

“Tweek? Buddy you doing alright” Tweek turned his head to the voice of the uninvited guest. He was slightly surprised and annoyed to be starring at another blue eyed blonde male. Kenny. Kenny fucking Mccormick out of all people watched him have a break down.Wiping his eyes he responded to the other in a shaky voice, raw from the screaming match he had with himself.

  
  


“FIne. I’m fine Kenny. Do you mind just leaving me for a bit I want to be alone.” He could hardly make eye contact with the other blonde, feeling a headache begin to form.

“No can do. You shouldn’t be alone right now man. Where’s Craig?” Kenny asked. Tweek couldn’t help the sarcastic laugh that escaped his throat and before he could catch himself he said,

“Probably still screwing that red head on our couch.” His eyes widened slightly when he realized what he just said.

“Wait-What? Is Craig cheating on you Tweek?” Kenny said with a hint of anger in his voice.

“Just drop it Kenny. It’s my problem, not anyone else’s.” Tweek said hoping the other would just drop it. But as usual his prayers are never answered.

“Tweek you can always tell-”

“DROP IT! Damn just leave it be okay? It’s my fucking problem man. I’ll deal with it when the time comes. Just for right now. Let’s sit in silence.” Kenny looked unsure, but to Tweek’s luck he dropped the topic. But that didn’t stop the other from talking.

“Do you wanna- “

“Damn Kenny do you ever stop talking? Like fuck dude. I want silence and you aren’t giving me that.” To Tweek’s annoyance his bitchy attitude did not deter the other from making conversation.

“We can go back to my place. I have some liquor and some weed. We can get fucked up and escape this shit hole for a while. Not literally but ya know figuratively or whatever.” Tweek wasted no time in giving an answer. An escape is exactly what he needs. And if Kenny can provide that free of charge, who is he to say no?

“Yea, Yea let’s get out of here.”

\---------------------

“Ever since Andy died, he’s been a complete different person towards me. Like he hates the sight of me or something. It makes me feel like scum.” Tweek slurred. As soon as they entered Kenny’s house, he went straight for the liquor cabinet. Kenny sat on the couch rolling up the blunts. This then led them to be pleasantly drunk and high. Tweek unleashing all of his problems on hsi poor friend here.

“I’m sure he doesn’t think-”

“Yes he does Kenny. He blames me for Andy’s death. He says he hates me all the time and wishes I was the one that was dead and not her. He’s been sleeping around on me almost every night since the accident. And he doesn’t even bother to hide it! I just caught him sticking his dick in some female on our fucking couch Kenny. Our couch! And the sad part is, I don’t blame him.” Tweek said sadly while taking another swig of the Apple E&J that they were sharing. 

“Damn man. He’s a complete dick.”

“He’s not a dick Ken. He’s just-”

“Just what Tweek? Hurting? Well I have news flash for you Tweek, You’re hurting too. But you aren’t doing him dirty by sleeping around or blaming him for not being there to help watch her. No instead you are blaming yourself. And so is he instead of comforting you. You guys need each other during this time, but instead of comforting you, he’s berating you and making you feel worse than you already do. That’s not right. That’s a dick move and he’s a dick.” Kenny said taking a puff of his blunt before passing it to Tweek. 

Maybe he should have left. Maybe he shouldn’t have accepted the invitation to come to Kenny’s house. He;s feeling vulnerable and surprisingly enough, horny. Kenny is the first person in months to offer a form of comfort to the smaller blonde and it’s making him feel things. Tweek looks at the small smile on Kenny’s lips when he catches him starring. His lips slightly red and kissable. Before Tweek can stop himself, he leans forward and crashes their lips together. Their lips glide across one another with ease. Tweek melts into the kiss. It’s been a while since he’s last kissed someone. Since he was last intimate and Tweek wants to enjoy the feeling of being wanted again. But all too soon Kenny is pulling back.

“Tweek, man are you sure you want to do this?” for someone so drunk Kenny acts very sober. He must have a high tolerance. Tweek stores this information for later use. 

“Yes?” Tweek says unsure. Now that he’s had time to think. Does he want to soil his relationship?  _ It’s already tainted though, right? Craig doesn’t care why should I?”  _ Before he can change his mind, he leans forward and takes Kenny’s lips once more. He responds in a more determined and sure voice.

“Yes. Kenny fuck me. Fuck me long and hard. Make me forget for a moment.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Protect tweek at all costs. I'm so sorry baby, but I promise it will get better. It'll just take some time.
> 
> Comment, subscribe and like!


	3. Surrender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one will win this time  
> I just want you back   
> I’m running to your side   
> Waving my white flag, my white flag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I’m back with another chapter! 
> 
> Please be aware of the the TW!  
> There is domestic violence and graphic rape in this chapter! So please please stay guys. If this is a trigger DO NOT READ!

The two blondes wasted no time removing their clothes. Diving back in, their lips slid across each other effortlessly. Kenny’s tongue prodded at Tweek’s bottom lip as if asking for permission to enter. Tweek happily obliged, opening his mouth wide enough to let the slippery appendage enter. 

Sucking the wet muscle eagerly, Tweek pulled back to catch his breath. 

“You wanna take this upstairs Ken?” Tweek said breathlessly.

“I was just finna ask you that” Kenny said with a small laugh. Grabbing ahold of Tweek’s hand, Kenny led the way to the staircase. Before going up the stairs, Tweek stopped suddenly, pulling back to ask an important question.

“Do you have condoms?” Tweek didn’t want their one night stand to turn into something that neither one of them are prepared to handle. Receiving no answer, Kenny just smiled and gave Tweek a wink. Tweek didn’t even know what that meant, but chose to ignore it for the time being. 

Pulling Tweek up the rest of the way. Once on the landing the two reconnected. Their lips finding each other once more. Before things could escalate even farther, Kenny’s cellphone rang from somewhere downstairs. Not bothering to acknowledge the disturbing device, Kenny pinned Tweek up against the wall. The phone kept ringing in the distance. Tweek started to become annoyed at the stupid sound. Sighing, Tweek pulled away from Kenny’s lips. 

“Can you please answer that damn phone. I can’t concentrate when that thing is constantly ringing.” Kenny sighed before turning around and descending down the stairs to answer his cellphone.

Kenny was gone for far too long before Tweek went back down the stairs. Scanning the living room for the dirty blonde, Tweek heard a hush voice coming from the kitchen. Creeping slowly to the kitchen entrance, trying not to be heard. Straining to hear, Tweek leaned his ear as close to the entrance without being heard. 

_ “Baby I missed you too.”  _ Tweek heard Kenny say into the phone.

_ “Butters I can’t wait to see you. I just want to kiss you and feel your touch. I love you baby.”  _

Feeling suddenly unwanted, Tweek made his way back to the living room where his clothes laid scattered across the floor. Grabbing his yoga pants and shirt he threw them on with a quickness. Just as he was going to head open the door to exit the house, Kenny comes up behind him suddenly grabbing his arm. 

“Hey where are you going? I thought we were going to do something.” Kenny said with a raised eyebrow. Tweek discreetly roles his eyes. 

“I’m suddenly not feeling too good. But give Butters my best regards.” With that Tweek made his way out the door.

He just wanted to feel loved again. It’s been so long. So long since he’s last been intimate with someone. Someone such as Craig. He’s starting to feel desperate and touch starved. He felt betrayed by Kenny. He was going to give him such an intimate part of him. He thought he could trust him. He SHOULD have been able to trust him. Did Kenny just want to fuck Tweek? Did he honestly not care about him?  _ He couldn’t have if he was so madly in love with Butters.  _ Tweek thought bitterly. He had to laugh at himself. He wasn’t usually the type to be jealous or envious. Probably because he always had Craig. Craig. The blonde sighed. He actually had nowhere to go. He didn’t want to go back home. He just didn’t feel like dealing with whatever shit storm awaited for him there. He could ask Token or even Clyde. Then again neither of them spoke to him since the funeral. Maybe his parents? They would force him to help out at the coffee shop. Tweek hated that place and swore to never go back there. So that option was out. Realizing that he was all out of options, he made the walk back to his house. 

When Tweek reached his home, he hesitated before pushing the key into the lock. The hesitation made him feel ashamed of himself. He shouldn’t feel unwelcome in his own home! After closing and making sure the door was locked behind him, he toed his shoes off and lined them up against the wall by the front door. 

Walking through the foyer, Tweek tried to listen for any “abnormal” sounds. Deeming it clear, he made his way up the stairs and to his bedroom. He could do with a shower. 

Upon walking up the stairs, he suddenly stopped at the first door on the right. Muffled sobs coming through the slightly cracked door. Wanting to investigate further, he gently pushed the door wide enough to see the person inside. The sight that he seen shattered his already broken heart into even tinier pieces.

Craig was perched on knees next to their daughter’s bed holding her stuffed teddy bear. Gently sobbing into the bear while holding it tightly. Since her passing, Tweek never witnessed Craig crying. Not even at her funeral. Tweek didn’t know what to do with a crying Craig. He didn’t know if he should do anything at all. Craig made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with Tweek. Comforting him could end up having the opposite effect of what Tweek was going for. Tweek was genuinely afraid of the man. Not wanting to see his husband crying anymore, his love for the noirette won over his fear. Tip toeing to the man as to not startle him, Tweek called out to him as softly as possible.

“Craig?” Tweek said. He received no response. Walking a bit closer Tweek laid a hand on Craig’s shoulder and called out once more.

“Honey?” The reaction Tweek received was expected, but it still hurt either way. Craig shot Tweek a deadly glare. Tweek quickly removed his hand from his shoulder and shrank backwards, fingers tugging the bottom of his shirt. 

“Tweek please go. I don’t want to be bothered right now.” Craig said defeatedly. Taking a moment to calm his racing heart, Tweek noticed the stench of alcohol that seemed to be spilling from the man’s pores. Scrunching up his nose at the smell Tweek asked,

“Have you been drinking? You smell.” Craig laughed mockingly 

“Duh I’ve been fucking drinking. Now please leave. I don’t want to see you.”

“Craig. I’m not leaving you. We need each other. I want to be there for you.”

“You want to be there for me?”

“Yes”

“You?” Craig asked laughing once more. “You couldn’t even be there for our daughter. What makes you think you’ll be able to do anything for me?” 

“That’s not fair Craig and you know it!” 

“Fair?!” Craig yelled standing up and facing Tweek. “You want to know what’s not fair? My baby girl being buried 6 fucking feet under and you’re still alive and breathing. That’s what not fucking fair. I have to look at you everyday and know that you were the reason why our - excuse me- MY daughter isn’t here right now! You can’t do anything right! I shouldn’t have ever trusted you enough to watch her.” 

Tweek couldn’t stop the tears that were running down his face. Did Craig really think that he wanted this to happen? He loved her damnit! 

“C-Craig. She was my daughter too. I loved her too. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to her. I took my eyes off of her for 1 minute Craig! ONE MINUTE! I just needed to piss. You weren’t even home. I’m home with her all the time taking care of her. You’re always at work. I just needed to take a break to go to the bathroom! It wasn’t my fault! I didn’t know she was going to run out like that. I would’ve stopped her. You know I would have! So you accusing me of letting this happen to our daughter kills me. We are supposed to be a team. You haven’t even touched me since the incident!” Tweek cried. 

“I haven’t touched you because you don’t deserve it! Every time I look at you I get pissed off all over again. I have been avoiding you so I won’t put my hands on you, but you are bringing me to that point Tweek.” 

“I hate you.” The words left Tweek’s mouth before he had time to analyze what he was saying. Craig starred at Tweek. Unmoving. Eyes boring into his. 

“What?” Craig said challengingly 

“I.hate.you” Tweek isn’t sure if he actually means what he’s saying but it felt right at the moment. Or at least he thought so. 

  
  


“You hate me? Is that so? Because I won’t be intimate with you? Fine, you want intimacy, I’ll give you intimacy.” Craig then walked the short distance over to Tweek and grabbed him by the waist pulling him flush against his chest. Tweek started questioningly at Craig waiting to see what he would do. Heart pounding. Craig bent his head down and placed a small kiss on Tweek’s lips. Placing both hands on either side of Craig’s face, Tweke lifted himself up on his tiptoes and deepened the kiss further. Tweek missed this. This was the Craig that he knew and loved. But then something felt off. Craig’s fingers began digging roughly into Tweek’s so hard with a force that would surely leave a bruise. Before Tweek could ask him to loosen his grip, Craig bit down hard on Tweek’s bottom lip drawing a bit of blood. Tweek yelped and slapped Craig across the face. 

“What the fuck Tweek?!” Craig shouted angrily 

“What the fuck is the matter with you? Why did you bite my lip? I’m fucking bleeding you asshole!”

“You wanted me to be intimate with you and I was!”

“Not like that! That fucking hurt!” 

“I’m sorry I’ll be more gentle.” Craig said. Tweek detected a bit of a sarcastic undertone but chose to ignore it. Kissing once more, Tweek noticed Craig becoming aggressive once more. Pulling away from the kiss and Craig, Tweek took a step back.

“I don’t want to do this anymore Craig. You’re drunk and you’re hurting me. We can try again when you’re sober.”

“I’m fine Tweek. Come here.” Craig said walking back towards Tweek. Trying to keep the distance between them, Tweek backed up towards the door. Noticing his retreating form, Craig reached and grabbed Tweek by the arm. Something horrible and sinister flashed on Craig’s eyes in that moment. Something that Tweek would have never thought he would see in his husbands’ pretty blue eyes. Tweek staring into the eyes of a man he doesn’t know. Without giving it much thought, Tweek shoves Craig back and tries to make a break for the door. But before he could escape, Craig’s long limbs caught him around the waist. Lifting him in the air, he slammed Tweek down onto the flower covered bed. Raising himself up on his elbows, Tweek’s eyes widened with shock and fear as he watched his husband begin to unbutton his pants.

Why couldn’t he move? Why isn’t he moving? He should be fighting right now. This is the perfect chance! But why can’t he move? Tweek was interrupted from his thoughts by a tug on his yoga pants as Craig lowered them down his hips. Sprinting into action, Tweek grabbed Craig’s hands stopping him. Pleading with him not to do this.

“C-Craig. Craig please! You’re drunk and angry. Don’t do this to me please. I’m sorry for everything I did wrong. I’m sorry for being a shitty parent but don’t do this to me!” Tweek begged and pleaded but it seemed as though his cries were falling on deaf ears. Suddenly a large calloused hand shot out and gripped his neck restricting air from coming through his airways. Fear overtook Tweek’s body and he began clawing at the hand choking him. While trying to fight off the hand around his neck Tweek was unaware of the success Craig had in pulling Tweek’s down. While Craig used his unoccupied hand to pull down his boxers, his grip on Tweeks throat loosened and Tweek was able to land a blow to the side of Craig’s head, successfully stopping any movement. Only momentarily though. Craig lifted his own fist and it came crashing down against Tweek’s temple. Then another hit him in the nose. Then another and another. Then everything went black.

Craig took this moment of Tweek’s unconsciousness to remove the excess clothing and to grab his member and press it against Tweek’s hole. Forcing himself through the tight ring of muscles, he entered. 

Tweek came to when he felt that first stretch and burn of anal sphincter. He was pretty sure it was being torn open at this point. At least that’s what it felt like. He and Craig has sex plenty of times before, but never without lube. The pain Tweek experienced could only be described as shards of glass cutting him. Over and over again. With every thrust. Tweek wished for it to be over with. Tweek has never wanted Craig to finish as soon as he started. But then again Craig has never hurt Tweek like this before. Why can’t he speak? Why isn’t he doing anything? Is this even considered rape? They’re married, can you even rape your spouse? 

Then came the wetness. The squelching sounds of not lube but the only other liquid that would provide a slick pathway for the large member to enter him so freely. Tweek didn’t want to think or feel anymore. He didn’t want to be alive. He knew he lost all respect for himself when Craig hit his prostate despite the burning pain he felt, the brush of his most sensitive bundle of nerves excited him in the most disgusting way. How could he have liked that? What is wrong with him? But sure enough Tweek’s own member stood proud and firm. This only caused Tweek to sob harder. Finally finding his voice, weak from crying forced out a scream. 

“Craig! Please stop! Please! You’re hurting me. It hurts! Why are you doing this to me?!” Tweek repeated over and over again. All this seemed to do was make Craig thrust into him harder and faster. 

“You like this don’t you baby? Is this what you meant by being intimate huh? Look at you, you’re so hard. Imma make you come baby. I promise. I’ll take care do you. Shhh baby relax. Don’t cry. I got you okay” 

“Craig.” Was all Tweek could sob out. Reaching in between Tweek’s legs, Craig began to stroke his dick in time with his thrust. Tweek couldn’t help the soft moans that left his mouth. Further making him disgusted with himself. The burning sensation now a dull ache, mixed with the constant merciless beating against his prostate had Tweek releasing himself faster than he cared to admit. But Craig didn’t stop. Despite Twek being overly sensitive now, Craig wasn’t finished and seemed to not stop until he was. Unable to hold back his screams, Tweek wailed and tried twist out of the man’s hold. Pleading with whatever God was out there to let this end. Wishing for nothing more than death itself, Tweek clawed Craig. His fingernails dirtied with blood from the deep gashes left on any part of skin he could reach. Hoping to get the older man off of him. But his actions were futile. Tweek could do nothing but scream and hope he would finish soon. Everything below his waist began to tingle and become numb from the pain. And by the grace of whatever spiritual being is out there, Tweek felt the telltale signs of Craig releasing his seed inside of him. With a final thrust, Craig pulled himself out of Tweek and hurriedly threw his clothes on. Tweek started at the man he once loved before rolling over onto his side and sobbing silently, one hand over his mouth the other holding his stomach. 

Before Craig left the room, he turned to look at Tweek and cleared his throat.

“I want a divorce.” Before walking out of the room and out the front door. 

Tweek laid there sobbing and begging for it to be a dream before falling into a dreamless sleep. When he awoke he didn’t notice when the sun was replaced by the moon. Having no idea how long he had been out for, he reached for his phone on the nightstand and began scrolling on the internet. After a few minutes he found what he was looking for and called the number listed.

“I would like to make a reservation for one please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to say guys but this isn’t even the worst for our two boys. Please don’t hate me 😩😩 and btw marital rape is a real thing. Rape is rape no matter what!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Comments I much appreciated guys!


	4. Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here I am, alone again  
> Can't get out of this hole I'm in  
> It's like the walls are closin' in  
> You can't help me, no one can  
> I can feel these curtains closin'  
> I go to open 'em  
> But something pulls 'em closed again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t proof read this so take this in stride. But I thought you guys should see from Craig’s point of view as well! I hope you enjoy

Craig was a selfish and horrible human being. He realized that after leaving the house with Tweek lying in bed in tears. Torn, battered and bruised. He was a monster. He would never have thought he would have ever hurt the man that he loved. But he couldn’t stop. He didn’t know how. In that moment everything around him was a blur. A dream-like state almost. Everything moving in slow motion. 

Tweek said he was drunk. But it was deeper than that. He played with a demon that took hold of his body. His soul. His mind. They say your mind is your biggest tool. Oh how right they were. Craig didn’t even feel like himself anymore. His mind screaming at him to go faster, harder. He’ll love it. He loves you and you love him. Show him you love him. His mind seemed to yell at him. He didn’t know what happened. After Andromeda died, it felt like his world was crashing down all around him. 

Tweek and he were only 24 years old, but married right after high school at the tender age of 18. Right after the “I do’s” they began trying for a baby that same night. They tried for a year. It seemed like nothing was working. They talked to all kinds of specialists. Read up on the best positions that could make pregnancy possible. They both took supplements to enhance their chances of conceiving. But it still didn’t work. When they finally decided to just give up trying for a while, Tweek got sick.

Like dangerously sick. They thought it was just a stomach bug. But when the symptoms didn’t subside, they took a leap of faith and tested. It was positive.

Positive.

Tweek was pregnant and they were excited. Right away they began planning baby names and arguing about what the nursery would look like. Tweek wanted a girl. Craig wanted a boy. Tweek wanted elephants and monkeys to decorate the walls of the room, Craig wanted planets and stars. 

They couldn’t wait to tell their family and friends. Everyone was excited for them. The gifts started rolling in before they even knew what the gender was.

A girl.

They were blessed with a baby girl. 

Her eyes so bright and full of wonder. They were a dark grey at the time, but they would soon learn that she had Craig’s striking blue ones. Her smiled that reminded him of Tweek’s, two little dimples adorned her rosie cheeks. Curly blonde hair, sticking up in all directions. Definitely Tweek’s child. They reached a compromise. Craig could pick the name and Tweek got to decorate the nursery. Andromeda Rose Lynn Tucker.

Now she’s gone. Gone. It hurt him to the core. His baby. Tweek and Andy were the main reasons he worked so hard. He wanted to provide a better life for them. He worked so hard so Tweek didn’t have to. That’s what they agreed on. Tweek would stay home with their daughter until she went to school, and Craig would work. 

Then she started school. Tweek went back to work. Only part time as a Registered Nurse at the local health clinic. Although Tweek wanted to work full-time, he understood how important Craig’s job was to him. Craig loved his job too much to cut back on his hours. So they made it work with Tweek working part time and still tending to their daughter after school. 

Maybe it was too much work for one parent, but Tweek never complained. Not once and Craig loved him for it.

Loved. 

Past tense.

When Craig met Tweek at the hospital after receiving the phone call about their daughter being brain dead, Craig lost it. He couldn’t look or be around him. Tweek met Craig at the entrance of the hospital with tears staining his face and his arms stretched out for a comforting hug. But Craig didn’t want to be touched, he wanted answers. He wanted to know why Tweek wasn’t watching their child. So instead of hugging Tweek, he pushed him. He couldn’t hold the feeling of disgust with himself for hurting Tweek like that and it must’ve shown on his face, because Tweek looked shocked before getting up and running away. 

Craig never apologized though. He was too angry at himself and Tweek to do anything about it.

Things began changing for them after the funeral. Craig found solace in drinking and having sex with random men and women. Not caring about how Tweek felt about the situation. He was going to make Tweek suffer. He was going to hurt him. Tweek took something from him, and he was going to take something from Tweek in return. 

It was a vicious cycle. One that Craig wished he could stop. He was beginning to spiral out of control but failed to seek help. When the sex and the drinking were no longer numbing his mind, Craig turned to something harsher. 

That’s the thing about living in this town, there’s always access to the harder and finer drugs in life. That first white line made his brain short circuit. The burning sensation that he got was nothing compared to the numbness his body felt. His mind was finally quiet. He loved the quiet. No memories of his daughter ever present during these times. These times he could cope with. 

Maybe he felt guilty for how he’s been treating Tweek. Maybe this was his way of punishing himself. By turning himself into a monster. His true colors showing. Doing Tweek a favor by giving him an out. Showing him the mess that he really is. 

Then he did the unthinkable. The unmentionable. The worst thing he could ever do to a human being. 

He never meant for it to go that far. He only dabbled in a little. At least that’s why he would like to tell himself. Tweek said he was drunk, but he wasn’t drunk. He was high. So high that in fact he registered Tweek’s screams and pleads wrong. He thought they were screams of pleasure. He would never hurt Tweek. Never like that. Tweek liked it! He’s not a monster! 

But he is a monster. The powdery substance made him twist his reality around. Made him think and feel things that weren’t there. Tweek said please right? He wanted him to go faster right? That’s what he said? But that’s not what he meant. But that’s what Craig heard. How could he do this. Can he fix this? Is there any way to fix it? 

He asked for a divorce. He didn’t want it but knew Tweek needed it. Somehow he just knew Tweek needed. He needed to get away from him. Even through his high he had a feeling that somewhere he messed up but didn’t know where.

Now sober, he knows where he messed up. He knows how fucked up he is and what damage he caused. He knows the consequences of his actions. He knows what he has to do. He’s just glad that he asked for the divorce and not Tweek. Make Tweek think that he doesn’t want him anymore. It’ll be easier for them both. 

He has to do it. Tweek won’t do it. His love for Craig is too big. Craig has to. He’s got to make it up to Tweek somehow. Even if that means destroying everything else around him for Tweek to be alright again. He will do it. 

Leaving the bar that he was currently at, Craig settled himself behind the wheel of his car and made the 15 minute drive into town. 

Getting out of the car, he made his way up the large steps that led him to the building that would forever change his life. 

Taking a deep breath in and reassuring himself that he is doing the right thing, he grabbed the door handle and let himself inside the building. Scanning the area to go to next, he followed the signs that would lead him to the reception area. 

Once arriving at the receptionist desk, the receptionist, who he recognized as Bebe Stevens, looked up at him with a kind smile. If only she knew what he was getting ready to do, she wouldn’t be smiling at him. 

“Hey Craig! How can I help you?” She said with a smile.

“I need to speak to someone. A detective preferably.”

“Okay. Is there anything you would like for me to tell them?”

“Just that it’s urgent.” He couldn’t make eye contact with her. She was one of Tweek’s friends back in high school. They don’t take as much these days but the blondes still stayed in contact.

“Alright give me a few minutes to get someone to assist you. You can take a seat in one of those chairs near the wall.”

Giving a small nod of his head and a quiet thanks, he made his way over to the plastic chairs. Bouncing his leg up and down with his head in his hands, he contemplated leaving and never coming back. But he knew that this was the only way to get justice and make everything right. A few minutes later Bebe returns with a detective. A detective Craig recognizes. Internally groaning he shook the out stretched hand of the red head. .

“ Hey Craig long time no see, right?” 

“Right.”

“Shall we head to my office?”

“Yea. Yea let’s go.”

Situating themselves in his office, Craig couldn’t help but to feel nauseous and nervous. 

“What can I do for you Craig?” Craig was silent for awhile, starring at the ground. Clearing his throat, the red head called out to him again. Voice laced with concern.

“Craig?” Taking a deep breath, Craig spoke. Voice wavering. 

“I would like to report a domestic violence dispute and rape.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day? What I’m on a roll. Thank you guys for the comments and the likes it makes me determined to actually finish the story!


	5. Love the way you lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the first page of our story  
> The future seemed so bright  
> Then this thing turned out so evil  
> I don’t know why I’m still surprised  
> Even angels have their wicked schemes  
> And you take that to new extremes  
> But you’ll always be my hero  
> Even though you’ve lost your mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with unedited chapter..yay lol 
> 
> A couple of things..  
> This chapter is a bit boring, but I felt like it was needed to show how tweek was dealing with the aftermath. The reason why tweek isn’t dealing with this too negatively yet is because in situations like this the body and mind has to get use to the idea of what happened. For tweek he’s still in shock so when does crash it’s going to be more realistic.
> 
> I realized in my last chapter the age and how old their daughter was didn’t make too much sense so i went back and corrected it. 
> 
> Also I need more ideas to incorporate for this story lol I’m having different ideas on how I want this story to go so I’m starting to get stuck. Open to any and all ideas lol 
> 
> Hopefully you still like this chapter

Tweek hadn’t moved from the bed since he made the call to the hotel. He didn’t think he could move. His body and his mind ached. Every inch of him felt like it was going up in flames. But that didn’t matter in the end because he knew he needed to be out of there before Craig came home.

Slowly turning onto his back and pushing himself up onto his elbows, he looked down at himself. His waist and hips bruised. Blood trickled down his pale thighs and legs. The sight made Tweek sick to his stomach. He couldn’t believe Craig hurt him like that.  _ No that wasn’t Craig.  _ Craig would never actually hurt him like that if he was in the right mindset right? Once upon a time Tweek could give a straight answer, but as of lately he didn’t know. 

Sliding off the bed onto all fours, Tweek crawled his way to his closet to retrieve his suitcase. He never really used the large blue and white bag. He didn’t see the purpose. He was always at home with Andy and Craig was always working. 

Getting onto his feet, he felt a rush of pain surge through his bottom half and bit his swollen lip. He reminded himself to take an aspirin before leaving the house. Walking as slow as possible to his dresser drawers, Tweek grabbed as much clothes as he possibly could and stuffed them all into his suitcase. Mentally making a list of things to take with him. And then making a list of things he could do without. 

Pulled out of his thoughts his phone began to ring. Turning around to face the bed where his phone lay forgotten, he could barely make out the contact photo of Craig light up on his phone. But it was definitely him. Tweek Could spot that photo from anywhere. The ringing finally stopped but fear and dread filled Tweek.

With new found strength, Tweek ran through the house gathering all of his necessities, fear running through his veins. Tweek never thought in a million years that he would ever be scared of Craig. They have been unseparable for years. But now all of that has changed.

Tweek hates change. When one thing starts to change then everything around him begins to spin with it. 

After he finished backing, Tweek wasted no time hopping into his car and driving off. Which it was a good thing that he did because once he hit the main road, there he saw Craig at the intersection lights driving in the direction of their-no-his home. Praying that Craig didn’t see him Tweek did 15 over the speed limit to hurry and get to his destination.

By time Tweek arrived at the hotel and checked in he was exhausted. Pulling out his phone to check the time, his heart -or what was left of it anyway- nearly jumped out of his chest. Collapsing onto the bed in front of him. 

_ 25 missed calls _

_ 101 text messages  _

_ 5 FaceTimes  _

All from Craig. Tweek’s fingers itched and burned with a desire to answer him. To go back to him. To forgive him. No matter what Craig did to him there was a strong force wanting to be on hands and knees for the man that he loved. 

_ He doesn’t love you. He wants a divorce.  _ Tweek knew this. Love doesn’t do this. Love doesn’t hurt. It’s not SUPPOSE to hurt. Was this really how Craig was? Was this what lied underneath that groundbreaking smile. That smile that made Tweek’s heart melt. That same smile that turned into a disgusting creature in the dark that left bruises and marks on his pale skin and not in the most pleasurable way. That same cursed smile that has Tweek praying and sobbing to make the pain stop. 

He needs the world to slow down for one second. One minute so he can grab his bearings. One fucking minute so he can keep his sanity at least to some degree. But the world keeps spinning and the clock keeps ticking.  _ Tick tick tick.  _ He shouldn’t have expected anything more. The world is against him. No deity out there would do this tiny solid for him. It hurts. Hurts. 

Mind blank, Tweek moved to the shower. Turning the shower to the hottest setting, Tweek stripped himself of his clothes. Stepping into the shower, the scorching water hitting his back, shoulders, anywhere it could reach until he felt nothing but numbness take over his whole being. Then it started.

The scratchy wash cloth that felt like sandpaper, which was good for Tweek because it meant that it would help cleanse his dirty skin, rubbed against his reddening skin in a vigorous motion. Making sure to get all of the  _ dirty  _ off of him. Maybe Craig will love him again if he wasn’t so dirty and contaminated. But it wasn’t enough. Why was it enough? Why did he still feel dirty? He scrubbed and scrubbed but he was still left with the feeling of grime. Is it because Craig was the one who contaminated him?  _ No it shouldn’t matter, Craig wasn’t okay.  _ But neither was Tweek. One by one memories hit Tweek of times before things became out of his control. The memories so vivid and clear that it had him falling to his knees in the shower, eyes clenched shut. 

_ “I don’t think I can do this Craig! I don’t want to do this anymore! Please make it stop!” Tweek cried squeezing his husbands hand. _

_ “Honey you are doing so good. Just imagine us holding Andy. You are going to be a wonderful daddy, you know that?” _

_ “Craig I don’t think I’m going to be a good dad. I can’t even get through labor. What if the baby-OH FUCK-doesn’t like me.” Tweek didn’t think he could take it if his baby didn’t love him. He wants her to love him. So much so that he feels like he can’t go through with this.  _

_ “You’re her dad. Of course she’ll love you. Just focus on me ok?”  _

Digging his nails into his arms drawing blood, Tweek couldn’t stop the memories from coming. Not even the pain from his scratching was enough for them to stop. Why was he punishing himself like this? He did nothing wrong!  _ But you did do something wrong. You didn’t DO anything and now she’s gone.  _ No. He couldn’t get to her in time. She moved too quick for him!  _ That’s what you would like to think. You couldn’t even get your stupid legs to work. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Failure. Failure. Failure.  _

That’s all Tweek ever was. He was a huge disappointment and failure. 

_ “Oh Craig she’s so beautiful! Look she’s got her tiny fist in a ball.” Tweek couldn’t stop smiling. He did it. He gave birth! It was hard and painful but he didn’t and he was proud. Glad their baby girl was well and healthy.  _

_ “I knew you could do it babe. I’m so proud of you.”  _

_ “Andromeda Rose Lynn Tucker” _

Tweek needed to get out of the shower. He needed to lie down. He was beginning to get a headache from all the crying. Or was it the constant memories?  _ Can memories even do that? Is that even possible?  _ Tired of crying, Tweek stepped out of the shower and looked himself over in the mirror. 

Skin deathly pale, bags as dark as the midnight sky framed around lifeless green eyes stared back at him. Feeling disgusted with his appearance, an unspeakable rage coursed through his body. Without a seconds pause Tweek cocked back his fist and threw it into the mirror.

Watching the mirror crack and shatter brought a twisted sense of relief to him. Feeling the shards of glass in his fist, blood trickling down his knuckles was the exact distraction that he needed. The pain made him momentarily forget about the world around him.

With his mind finally quiet, Tweek rinsed his fist off and wrapped it up in a white towel. Popping four aspirins, Tweek vowed to get some sleep tonight. Whether it be peaceful or not he didn’t care. He just wanted sleep. 

If only he could sleep for the rest of eternity. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like it? Hate it? comment!


	6. Hallelujah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a hole in my heart I've been hiding  
> I've been strong for so long that I'm blind  
> Is there a place I can go where the lonely river flows?  
> Where fear ends and faith begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don’t hate me for this chapter 😩😩 I swear there is a reason for all of this. 
> 
> Also please let me know how badly edited this is because I don’t care too much to really edit it I just wanted to put something out there. 
> 
> I don’t know too much about legal actions like this. I had to go to a friend and she gave me a bit of insight on what she went through. 
> 
> Well anyway I hope you all still enjoy

Tweek woke up with a start from the annoying sound of his phone ringing with an incoming call. Wanting to shut the damn thing up, Tweek in his sleepiness, answered the phone. 

“Hello” he said with a stifled yawn.

“Hello there, may I speak to Tweek Tucker?”

“Uh, this is he? Who is this?”

“Hi Tweek this is detective Kyle Broflovski. I am here at the station with your, uh hm, husband Craig, and would like for you to come in for a little chat.”

“Kyle, I know who you are please drop the formalities and why is Craig at the station?” Tweek’s heart felt like it would beat right out of his chest. Why would Craig go to the station? Was he going to turn him in for Andy’s death?  _ It wasn’t your fucking fault Tweek!  _

“Yea, sorry it comes with the job. And honestly Tweek it would be better if we spoke in person rather than over the phone alright? Just please come in. If not I can come to you. But I really want to talk to you.” Tweek not responding for a few moments, contemplating on hanging up and changing his number heard Kyle sigh on the other side. 

“Tweek, speaking to you as an old friend, not a professional, but I think you should come in so we can talk. It’s really important okay?” Tweek still not sure rolled his eyes and hesitantly responded,

“If at any point I am uncomfortable I am leaving. No questions asked and no further contact, understood?”

“Yea, no problem!”

“When should we meet?”

  
  


Tweek didn’t want to do this. No scratch that he  _ really _ didn’t want to do this. He didn’t even know why he was there. Well he kind of had a guess but he didn’t let his mind stay on that thought for very long. 

Tweek sat in the ugly yellow plastic chairs across from the receptionist desk, waiting to be seen by Kyle. Bebe usually works the receptionist desk but instead of the petite blonde, there in her place was a fiery redhead Tweek didn’t recognize. 

Exactly 14 minutes went by before Tweek felt like he has had enough. He wanted to leave. He didn’t even want to be there to begin with. So with as much determination as he could muster, Tweek got up from the chair but before he could reach the door his name was called. Sighing and regretting not moving fast enough, he came face to face with Kyle Broflovski.

“Thank you for meeting with me today Tweek. I know this isn’t ideal, but we really need to talk.”

“That’s what I’m here for Kyle. Can we just, ya know, get this over with please?” Given Tweek a look he didn’t like, Kyle nodded his head and led the way to his office.

  
  


“You can sit here Tweek.” Kyle said pointing to a red chair. Sitting down Tweek eyed the office, before asking the question that he’s been dying to know. 

“Why am I here Kyle?”

“Well, geez, no catching up? Just straight to the point?” Kyle said with a smile. Tweek appreciated the red trying to be friendly, but Tweek was tired. He wanted to go back to the hotel and try to sleep some more.

“I’m tired. I just want to go home and sleep. So Kyle, please. What is this about?”

“How are you and Craig?” The mention of his husband’s name had Tweek freeze up. Kyle seemed to take note of that. His heart felt like it was beating out of his chest and he wondered if he could hear that.

“We..are fine. Why do you ask?” 

“My deepest condolences to you and Craig about the loss of your daughter. I know it must be a difficult time for you both. How is Craig handling everything? I know you’ve had a tough time, so I can assume he isn’t fairing much better?” 

“He’s..um..adjusting? We just lost our child Kyle, what does- “

“He came into my office the other day. Tweek he made a serious allegation that he raped you. I need you tell me what happened. We don’t want him to hurt you anymore. We already have his signed confession, we just need your side of things.”

Tweek couldn’t breathe. Things just keep getting worse for him. Craig didn’t mean to hurt him. He wouldn’t have done it if he was himself.  _ But he wasn’t himself. _ Craig couldn’t go to jail. Tweek loves him too much. He doesn’t deserve it. 

“He..he didn’t mean to hurt me. I know he didn’t! We were having sex and things just got..a bit carried away! He would NEVER hurt me intentionally!” Tweek hoped he sounded convincing enough, but the look on Kyle’s face said it needed to.

“Tweek you don’t need to defend him! We can keep you safe. Craig needs help. And you need to be protected. Let’s just ta-“

“Where is he?”

“What?”

“Where is Craig? Did he go home?” Kyle have Tweek a confused look before slowly responding.

“You..do realize that HE came to us right? He turned himself in?”

“So..he’s here? I want to see him.”

“Tweek I don’t think-“

“Take me to my husband.” 

  
  


The walk to the holding cell, felt like walking the green mile. He and Craig use to watch that movie often growing up. It was one of Tweek’s favorites. He finally understood why they called it the green mile. 

They approached the cell. The sight making Tweek’s heart wrench. His husband sat on the cell bench with his hands in his hair and his head bowed. Tweek has never seen him look so defeated before. When he looked up, Tweek’s breath caught in his throat. Placing his hand over his mouth to prevent a sob from breaking through. His once vibrant blue eyes looked sunken in and lost as though he hadn’t slept in years. His usually tanned skin is now a sickly pale. He looked like he aged 20 more years in the short 24 hours that he had been there. 

“Tweek?”

“Craig? Wha-what are you doing?!?! Why did you tell them you raped me? I’m fine! WE are fine!”

“Tweek-“

“No! No. I will NOT let this happen! Kyle!” At the sound of his name the red head appeared back at Tweek’s side.

“Tweek?”

“I want the charges and the confession Craig made dropped. NOW! I want them all dropped now! Do you hear me?!”

“Tweek! No. I need to face my consequences. Let me have this okay?”

“No! I will not! Craig you don’t deserve this. We..we are just going through a rough patch. We’ll be fine! We are always fine in the end!” Turning to the red head once more with a pleading look, “Kyle please! Just-please do this for me okay?” With much reluctance and a sigh Kyle nodded his head.

“Yea alright. Fine Tweek. I’ll call the drop everything. But do NOT hesitate to call me if something else happens. I’ll be in my office getting the Paperwork together. And Craig?”

“Yea?”

“I’m going to be keeping tabs on you.”

“Whatever Broflovski.” After that Kyle retreated back to his office. Giving both the blonde and the noirette time to themselves. 

“Craig what the FUCK are you doing?!?! Do you not realize that you could have been serving serious jail time? Do you even give a fuck?” 

“Why are you here tweek?”

“What the hell do you mean why am I here? You know why I’m here.”

“No I mean WHY are you here? After what I did to you, you shouldn’t even want to see me.”

“Craig we will get through this. We always do. I-I love you! I want us to work. I want to forget about all of that.”

“Tweek. I’m sorry, but I can’t. And since you won’t do anything about it, I will. I’m going to meet with a divorce attorney Tweek. I want this to be final. I want a divorce. I don’t think we should see each anymore either.”

“No. Craig you don’t-“

“Alright Tweek, Craig. I have the papers together I just need you and Craig’s signature that you both agree to the dropped charges.” He said unlocking the cell that held Craig, allowing him to walk out. 

“I don’t agree.”

“Craig. I don’t care if you want a divorce. Fine. You never want to see me again, I can handle that. But I’m not having you arrested. You either just sign the paper or I don’t comply with the police. You can sign the papers then file for divorce. But please don’t do this.” Silence is what followed afterward, until Craig sighed taking ahold of the pen Kyle held out. Signing his share of the papers, Craig turned to the exit and began to walk away. 

“I’ll have my attorney contact you Tweek. Take care”

Tweek felt the last piece of his heart shatter and was powerless to stop it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you weren’t too pissed off by this chapter. I wanted to try to capture the reality of spousal rapes..this often happens so many times that it’s incredible. Actually they just recently started to recognize spousal rape as actual rape. 
> 
> Next chapter will be happier, before you guys are hit with more angst.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked it!   
> Please leave comments and or suggestions about different ideas to include in the fic. I'm trying to make this as real as possible and using my own experience with the loss of a child to base it from. So the emotions that Tweek goes through are my own at the time. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
